Without Her
by of monsters and me
Summary: Dylan has been kicked out of the Flock - for good. How is Dylan holding up on his own? Is life without Max so unbearable that he'll die? Or will he find another mutant bird kid? Maybe even a regular kid? Or will the supposed "true love" conquer? / on hiatus, high possibility of being discontinued
1. Prolouge

Prolouge: Incomplete

**Disclaimer: I don't own Maximum Ride, cookies, or even the word hi! Just thought you guys should know.**

After _she _left I was incomplete. After _she_ left I felt like I couldn't breathe, every step hurt. _She_ kicked me to the curb, I guess _she_ got tired of me.

I wanted to stay with her, I swear I did! But _he_ had claimed her already. _He_ claimed the girl that I so desperatley loved. I was created to love _her_, my sole purpose in life was to guide _her_, to help her when things got tough. I loved _her_, I'm not sure if I wanted to love her, because, what's so bad with falling in love? No, I didn't fall in love, I was created to love. Love _her_. Only _her._ I see millions of girls _everyday_ and I think of how pretty they all are, I daydream about what it would be like to kiss them. They see me, think I'm cute, too. I read it in their faces, their eyes betray them.

I still dream about _her_, though. I see _her_ kissing me, hands clutching my hair as if her life depended on it. I see _her loving me_. There is no Flock in my daydreams, no one other than us, together. My dream-at that moment- is utter freaking bliss. And then _he_ comes back. _He_ steals her away, again. I think that's when I scream. I just want to tear _him_ limb from limb! And sometimes I do-in my dreams. Then _she_ screams at me, yelling and punching. And _I let her_. Because I love _her_. God, I hate that about myself.

I hate _her_, and I love _her_. There's all this turmoil inside myself, that I just want to crawl into some stupid freaking whole and die. Or, better yet, let the Whitecoats have me. They'd just love to get their slimy little hands on bird-kid DNA, huh?

The girl I love-and hate-_she's_ everything. Perfect. _She's_ beautiful, with her blond-ish brown hair, and brown eyes-eyes that stare into your soul. _Her _wings-oh God those beautiful wings-white and brown and other colors all at the same time. _She's_ not tall, but _she's_ not short either. _She's_ absolutley the perfect height. I feel that jolt of electricity whenever _she_ touches me. I hate it-and love it. God, _her_ skin is nice and tan, it seems like it's glowing. The way _she_ walks, it's the way of a leader. _She_ was born to lead-the whole world, actually.

I hate that I love _her_, and I love that I hate _her_. _She's _my everything. My life. My world. _Her_ needs first, then mine, always.

_She_ kicked me out, though. It was not _their_ disicion, it was _hers_. I was out. Out of _her _world. Out of _their_ life. _Their_ Flock. I remember that day quite clearly, the day I wanted to forget so badly. _She_ glared at me with a passion, though not the kind that I wanted from thos beautiful chocolate brown eyes. It was a hatred, like I was the enemy, like I was the leader of the School. I pleaded, I begged, I reasoned, and I said that I could change. But _she_ was stubborn, doesn't break under preassure, doesn't budge. Never.

_I still love her. And I hate myself for that._

_God, why are you so cruel to me?_

**Did you like that? I wasn't exactly sure what color Max's wings were, by the way. Hope I got it right! Review! **

**~bookluva98**


	2. Explaining

**Chapter One: SAY WHAT?**

**Okay, chapter one is now officially up. Yay!**

_*Dream*_

"Get out of this house, Dylan," Max sneered. Yes, the oh so high and mighty Maximum sneering, at me. Ha-ha. So funny. You know you're day is going to be bad when you wake up to _that_. You never want to get on Max's bad side, ever. I didn't even know what I did. Oh my God, what the heck did I do?

I think I said something real smart like, "Bleghramahuh?" Yeah, I'm a genius. Apparently, Max didn't think I was so genius. So, she threw a pillow at me and poured cold water on my face, soaking my shirt. You can imagine how quick I got out of bed after _that_. I swear, I shot up faster than a rocket. "Max," I said gently, "what's wrong? Is everything alright? You know you can tell me anything." I tried to make my face look sympathetic when I reached out to touch her. But when my hand held her shoulder, she flinched back, as if I was some kind of disease, or as if an electric current passed through us.

"How do I know what I can tell _you_, Dylan? Huh? You could be a spy for the School for all we know!" Max sneered, which made me flinch in response. How could she think that? I loved her, loved her so much I wouldn't even think of betraying her. Ever. Not to the School, not to anyone. Doesn't she know that?

"Who told you that Max? Who? Answer me!" Yes, my dear Max, who put that dreaded thought in your mind? "Tell. Me. Who. Told. You." I had both hands clutching her shoulders now. I didn't know what was wrong with her! Because, when someone tells me I'm _a freaking spy_ I kind of want to know who told them! I mean, wouldn't you? She looked away, reluctantly, I might add, as if I was someone who could make her blush! As if! _She freaking ignores me because deep down she has feelings for me!_ I know she does, I can feel it.

I wasn't really sure, but I think Max might've mumbled a, "Fang." in response to my question. She said it so low I wasn't sure if I was meant to hear it at all. I might've growled, I'm not really sure, because everything went all fuzzy and blurry. From somewhere around me I could hear Max yell at me. "DYLAN!" She screamed, though it sounded so far away. "STOP! YOU'RE HURTING HIM! DON'T DO THAT! GOD, DYLAN, DON'T YOU LOVE ME?" I could hear cries from the other kids, Total was on a honeymoon with Akila at the moment. I was totally out of control, I couldn't see, I couldn't control my body, either. Was someone else?

The last thing I heard before I blacked out was, "Oh my god, Fang, wake up. _Fang, I love you._"

_*End of dream*_

That's when I woke. I usually woke around now. Right when Max was confessing her love to Fang, which he so evidently returned. I hated him, but I didn't. I hated him because he loved Max, and Max loved him. He was the reason Max wasn't with me. He was her forever, just like she was mine. I didn't hate him because if I did, it would make Max sad, or angry. I couldn't hate him because he's who kept Maximum Ride sane, alive, whole. Emotions are complicated. I kind of wish the School didn't let me keep mine.

Yeah, Max kicked me out. I beat up _Fang_. So bad he almost died. _DIED_. Did you hear that? Can you imagine how ticked Max was. Multiply that by, I don't know, a million. Bingo. That's how mad and ticked at me she was. Still, it wasn't as bad as, oh, _hearing her confess her love to another guy_. God, I swear, if we filmed my life, it'd be a soap opera.

Max betrayed me, kicked me out. Yeah, we've established that. So? The kids took a vote on who they would stay with. Fang: with Max, no chiz. Nudge: Max, of course. Iggy: yes, Max, I get it.

Angel - surprisingly, me. Wouldn't she, of all people, want to stay with Max? Max did look totally heartbroken when Angel said she would be coming with me, I'm sure that made her think twice about kicking me out. But, I did beat up her boyfriend... Max still thought of Angel as "her little girl." But, Angel's a big girl now, nearly ten.

Gazzy: this was a shocker, kind of. He picked Max. _Max over his freaking sister, his biological sister_. "You're not my sister, you're her evil twin!" Gazzy screamed. "I'm staying with Max, wherever you're not!" Angel didn't look surprised, and Gazz looked like he was heartbroken.

Max turned on me, kicked me out, you think I would've learned my lesson and ditched Angel. Just traveled solo. Every man to themselves, right? Wasn't that, like, one rule of survival. But I wanted company. I wasn't comfortable with loneliness. Not yet. Not then. Angel could tell, too. At first, we hang like brother and sister. Me playing the roll of very overprotective brother whenever M-Geeks or Flyboys came our way. There were never any Erasers, didn't need to worry about them.

But, Angel, oh God, something happened to that sweet, perfect Angel. The one Max and I loved. I heard of how she got captured by the whitecoats. I think something happened to her there. They experimented on her, like a lab rat. Or bird. An avian lab bird. One day, Angel went all crazy, the girl attacked me. She looked like an Eraser, except a bird kid kind. I looked into her eyes before she knocked me unconscious. I knew her eyes: they were blue, like water. Like the ocean. Blue and pure. They comforted you. But these eyes - God, I still hate those eyes - they weren't Angel's. They were for a demon. Cold and hard. Dark like sapphire. They were evil eyes. Chilled me to the bone, those eyes. I swear, they looked into your soul, and paralyzed you. Like, in a, "oh-my-God-those-eyes-scare-me-to-death" kind of way.

The last thing I heard before she knocked me out was, "Dylan, you've failed to capture Maximum Ride. You never learn, do you, Dyl?" I didn't know what the heck she was talking about, so I welcomed the darkness, hoping I would just die while I was unconscious. Death would be better than being betrayed every freaking minute. Death would be better than love. Death would almost be better than Maximum freaking Ride.

**Okay, hope you guys liked that. This chapter is dedicated to my ONE reviewer. Did you hear that? ONE. So, do me a favor, and review. Please. Remember. ONE.**


	3. Future Equals Trouble

_**Dedicated to GoddessofNature11, for reviewing both my chapters, and my anonymous reviewers, who helped make my day.**_

_Future Equals Trouble_

I'm sending Max notes now, on whatever I find. Postcards, scraps, even those cheap motel cards. I wish that I could buy those romantic cards – all fancy and expensive, smelling of roses. But I'm broke now, so I can't. She deserves better than this; hell, she might even actually deserve Fang over me.

You know, I wish I could find some permanent place to rest. Is this how Max lived all the time? Probably not; Nudge wouldn't stand this.

* * *

Dream

_Max looks ready to lunge at Angel, but she can't. There are tears in her eyes, but not tears of rage. They're tears of . . . the loving mother who saw her child go down the wrong path and go to jail. But, still, she wants to lunge and rip Angel's throat out. And cannot. Not because that's her little girl standing in front of her, but because that she's strapped to a chair. Angel has on the face of the devil – that perfect face that you're always fooled by before your soul goes into hell. So, yeah, it was a pretty intense face, matching up to a pretty intense moment._

"_Max, Max, why did you get rid of Dylan?" asked Angel, her faultless little girl voice gone, replaced by the cold nothingness. _

"_Why don't you just read my mind, dear sister? Surely you know what's inside my head . . . Oh, I'm sorry, you can't. Oh, that's right, it's 'cause you're a stupid _clone_ who is nothing like the real Angel. Oops," snarled Max, the fierce tiger once more._

"_Quiet! You are merely a test subject who I have no patience for! Now tell me! Or do we need to get rid of that girl you call Nudge's eyes too? I'm sure she'd love eternal darkness," Angel crackled. It seemed so scary hearing authority coming from a nearly eleven year old. It makes you realize there's no hope._

"_No! Not Nudge's too! I got rid of Dylan because it was best for my Flock! I do what is best for my family! Not that you would know, not anymore."_

_Angel looked at Max skeptically. "I can tell there is something more." _

"_I got rid of Dylan because . . . I started having feelings for him, and I shouldn't. And later, he started growing feelings for me, too. But I love Fang . . . I needed him _gone_. I couldn't lose Fang again. But now they're both gone."_

_Angel laughed. "And now fearless Max and crew are alone . . . Oh dear, who ever will save them now?" Alarms blared, and red lights flashed. It was such a cliché moment that I wanted to puke. Is Mr. Silent coming to save the day again? The door opened and I saw . . ._

_Me. Future me.

* * *

_

What did I just see now? Oh, right, the _future_. 'Cause it sure as hell wasn't the past. I think I would remember that much – my love getting trapped, her confessing her sort-of crush, and me dashing in like 'Prince Charming'. That would be one of the highlights of my life, I'm sure. Oh joy.

* * *

**Okay, I cannot say that _wasn't _short. It was. I'm really sorry, guys. I wrote this a long time ago, and I wasn't sure what to do with it. At least I posted, right? Oh, who am I kidding? This story has minimal hits, and about seven reviews. That's less than all my other ones. Gosh, I feel so glum right about now.**

**Review. Please make me feel better.**

**I know we all hate Dylan - and possibly me right now - but please? For the starving children? For the Flock?**


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